October 2011 archive

Flying Higher

hand mudras for sleep

We are in Toronto, to see my Lyme doctor who is going to the ILADS conference, and the rest of my family, who live in this general area. I am so drained after the flight.

Toronto is HUGE, and I am feeling very small-town right now. I miss being able to look at the top of buildings without craning my neck all the way back.

The flight went well enough, although the altitude always makes me feel very sick. I have a killer sore throat and am having trouble swallowing. Nothing a little oregano oil won’t nab, but this is an all-time quickest infection rate. I missed choir practice last night as I was feeling so low and my throat was in so much pain.

The benefits of sitting in the bulk head on the lovely WestJet were felt as soon as Mum and I started doing yoga. Because the computer was with us, we could do a full asana practice, and it was like the lovely Michelle was with us too! Made the flight that much quicker and more peaceful.

Yoga Together

After seeing how much I enjoyed yoga, and the benefits I had from it, Mum decided to start doing the practice with me. We did a full practice yesterday, which was fun to do together…girl time! Before the afternoon yoga practice I was feeling rather restless and couldn’t settle to any activity, and was fatigued and exasperated, which seemed like a good time to bust out some yoga moves. I felt energized afterwards, which made my day so much better. Hopefully we will be able to practice ever single day of the week, 3 times with teachers, and 4 on our own. Won’t that be fun!

Full Day

For not sleeping very well and having low energy, I think I put a serious amount of energy into this wonderful day!

The library has just got in a whole whack of really awesome knitting and spinning books, which I have eagerly been reading this week. I am particularly enthralled with the “Fleece and Fiber Sourcebook”, which describes in depth over 200 different animals which produce fiber! Pretty pictures. My only regret is that this isn’t a touch and feel book, like “Pat the Bunny”! Alas.

Michelle and I did an exhausting yoga practice today, although it was well worth the fatigue to be able to relax so fully afterwards. My whole body feels like it was untied from a bunch of stressed knots. Lovely. Michelle works me hard, but that is because she has such faith in me…knowing that I will try my best, while listening to my body. I cannot thank my amazing teachers enough for their belief in me, in my healing. Such positivity is infectious, and is multiplied exponentially in the heart. <3

I have been feeling so low lately. Weak inside, starving, but eating just fine now. It is frustrating, because in I feel as though my body is crying out for nutrients, although my blood work looks the best it has in years.

Wednesday is choir practice with the Linden singers, 2 hours which leaves me breathless, literally, and also because I am so enthralled with the whole experience. I recently learned that 2 other members  The repertoire is challenging and interesting, and our upcoming holiday concert, with the theme “Christmas American Style” should be great fun for everyone, regardless of religious belief or age. “From the spontaneity and infectiousness of the tunes of Irving Berlin to the grandeur of a contemporary American Magnificat.” There is definitely something for everyone, even if you are an atheist, like me. In case you are in town, and interested in hearing some sweet holiday music, the concert takes place on Saturday 3 December 2011 at 7:30 PM at First Metropolitan United Church at Quadra & Balmoral. Tickets are available through me or another Linden singer, of course, or at Ivy’s Bookstore, Munro’s Bookstore or Long and McQuade Music, and at the door. Just something to bear in mind :).

I was feeling really down today, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe it was the weather, but I was feeling very listless and couldn’t settle to anything all day. Distracted, but not thinking about anything else. Could be from lack of sleep…some days are just like that, I guess. I spun for a wee while before my shower and that really perked me up. I hadn’t spun in a little while, because my legs have been rather exhausted, and I’d prefer to practice yoga than spin when I have to choose. Hopefully tomorrow, with a good restful nights sleep, I’ll feel more like myself.

Just a phase

I have been on the IV antibiotic meds for about 3 weeks, and was actually feeling relatively fine. No drop in my energy level, unexplained symptoms, or increase in symptoms, until Wednesday. Poop! Fun’s over. Now we are getting back to the real work: herxing.

Herxing is basically a few hours to a few days/weeks of pure hell, where your symptoms increase exponentially, and all the horrid crazy symptoms that are usually kept in check come out to wreak havoc on daily life. I was feeling rather faint and tired during the day on Wednesday, and a little less than peppy when Michelle came for our yoga practice. I could feel myself being sucked down by an invisible force, which I know to be borrelia (Lyme bugs) in my body acting out. They are attention seeker…and love to keep their hosts on their toes.

I am really enjoying singing with the Linden singers…the music is challenging and the people so lovely. There are two others spinners in the choir, and I am hoping that we can all get together and spin! One gal brought me some chiengora, or dog fur (the stuff that falls out when your dog is shedding!). It is super soft, like angora bunnies (hence the name), and much much warmer than wool, in fact, so warm that you have to mix it with other fibers. Wow. I am really excited to get working with that, but not sure when my next chance to hit the wheel will be.

After I got home from practice on Wednesday night, I started feeling that something was very wrong. Trembling inside. Cold and hot at the same time. And in a lot of pain. It was just the start of a bad herx. I felt like I might have an infection, something not Lyme-related, because of the chills and fevery feeling, but nope, just good ol’ Lyme in action :P.

I am having this weird things going on with food. I am so hungry all the time, but whenever I try to eat, I just can’t. Like literally can’t put food in my mouth without feeling anxious and awful. I feel like bursting into tears every time someone mentions eating. I am not really sure how to explain the feeling, because I haven’t really experienced this before and it is confusing. I think it is aggravated by the fact that I am super nauseous, and sporadic feel like I am going to be sick, but thankfully am not. Basically I have eaten a lot of potatoes over the past few days, which is usually my least favorite vegetables. For some reason mash potatoes with olive oil went down better than anything else. It’s just a phase, hopefully.

Fall Lunch

Can you believe that midterm exams are almost in full swing? Not like I’m in school or anything, but when I tried to plan a weekend luncheon with some friendlies, it turns out that people are scrambling to study already. Hasn’t even been a full month of school. Wow. Having said that, and snickered a bit that friends are hitting the books, I would love to be baking study-group cupcakes, and complaining how much my textbooks weighed.

Angela and I went out to lunch at “The Reef”, a Caribbean restaurant with rocking food. Curry veggies and jerk tofu wrapped up in roti for me, and quesadillas for Angie. Fantastic! Nice to get caught up on everything in each others lives, and see the latest knitting projects!

I has been so bitterly cold these last fews days. 13 C doesn’t sound too chilly, but on the West Coast that means take that number and subtract a whole lot for windchill and damp cold. I was in full winter regalia. And still found it within my stubbornly sun-loving heart to complain of the cold. Nothing new there. I feel like if I could just be walking around, I wouldn’t notice the cold so much, or I could stomp my feet to get warm. I really want to get walking. I have been sick for so long…so lame!

The yoga does warm me up nicely. It feels really good to stretch. I am getting better, and the gals even introduced a few new moves this week, which is exciting! My hips are very weak…where there should have been muscle and fat at my side is now a hollow place. Lack of strength in my hips does make it hard to walk, or balance, so hopefully by strengthening there I can get walking that much easier and faster!

I only have to take this one kind of pill for 3 days, and then I take a break for 30 days. The catch it that I take 8 doses of this mediation per day. 8 little yellow pills that taste of chemically death. While I’m on these, I feel particularly awful and exhausted, something I didn’t realize was possible. I thought it couldn’t get much more terrible than doing IV meds twice daily, but for some reason these oral meds just push me way over the edge. Talk about frustrating! They also make me super nauseous, although for some reason today’s curry lunch hit the spot. Ironically, whenever I am feeling super terrible, I crave curry, and usually feel better afterwards. Wouldn’t it be sweet if I was craving the ayurvedic healing powers of turmeric and curry powder, coriander and ginger? Interesting thought, no?

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