December 2010 archive

Piano Recital

I am so proud of my piano students!! I have always been so lucky…having students who not only love the piano and music, but as a side-affect of that love, practice! Playing because you want to and need too, versus because you should or your teachers insists that you do, means that you play the pieces with such lightness and happiness. There is nothing more soul-crushing than being tied to a piano for your strict practice time. I have seen it turn talented, but pushed friends over-board, to the point they don’t want to play and quit. This always makes me so sad and has also made me vow that I will never ever do that to a student of mine!

I know that I have the most wonderful, caring, energetic and dedicated piano teacher, Kristin, who is always there with a thoughtful suggestion and feedback. Kristin had her Holiday piano recital tonight, which is always so much fun and puts me in a cheery mood. I really need it too. I have been feeling so awful…my ribs are constricting my lungs in a white-hot embrace that makes me wish I had no need to breathe. But the music always puts those thoughts on the back-burner. All the pain becomes white noise once my hands hit the black-and-white bed.

I decided to play the classic “I’ll be home for Christmas”. I have a huge holiday music bible which is simple enough to allow me to expand on the melodies. This in the fixed-up Metchosin Community House, a beautiful, expansive room where we used to always have our piano parties. It is fully accessible too, so nice and easy for me to move around.

Kristin generously invited my students along to play, if they so desired. I am teaching Lisa, my EA (educational assistant) from SIDES and her daughter, Emma. It was their first recital, so I could tell there were a bit of butterflies floating around them, but Lisa decided to play a beautiful rendition of “Greensleeves”.

I was just so proud of Lisa for playing! There is another adult student of Kristin’s, which must have been nice. Usually its just a bunch of kids (the littlest ones are so sweet! I am impressed that their fingers can move with such dexterity!) I hope it encourages some of the older students to take on students as well, because it is the most rewarding job I have ever undertaken. I actually am shocked that I get paid to have so much fun, but I would like eventually to put myself though med school, so I have to save somehow.

After everyone has played their pieces, we all get to chow down on some of Kristins’ famous fruit ‘flan’, more a delicious spongy/flat cake with season fruit a top it. It is all-round a wonderful evening! Can’t wait for Christmas…just a few days. “Will it snow?”- that’s always the big question here. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…just like the ones I used to know…hmmmm mhhmmhmm…

Mad Hatter

Yes! I have just completed my first hat. It wasn’t any where near as hard as gloves, but the challenge this time was running out of wool at the top (whoops…miss judged that one). Luckily, blue is a pretty common color in my yarn scraps bin, so i found a suitable substitute. A perfect miss-matched end, which I actually quite like. Its funny how accidents sometimes work out just so well. I just have to tuck in the ends now, my least favorite job.

Improved tippy-top

A perfect fit

I based my hat off of my favorite number *geek alert*, which is Phi (.618), part of a mathematical proportion that occurs alarmingly often in nature (snail shells, human dimensions, leaf vein patterns). Each row of my hat is .618 times smaller than the last. I ran out of room at the top, and just started the pattern again (sort of…running out of wool really put a damper on that). Ah…I feel so wonderfully geeky. The hat turned out great, though, which I’m super pleased about – practical is nice once in awhile. 

It must be my mad skills at ironing the lines of pain from my face, which make me look so ‘normal’. The problem with Lyme is the lack of physical symptoms. The grotesque and absurd symptoms begin where you cannot see-just below the skin, or a fine layer of makeup. Whenever you’d look into my face or speak with me; you would not believe the pain in my body right now.

Everything in my body aches.
My ribs have been smashed with hammers, the muscles were plucked like a guitar sting. There is a sensation in my bones similar to the hum of an angry  Africanized killer bee hive, and gradually swelling squalls of bloodthrobbingagony make the bees hunker down into my joints, defensive or protective or invasive.

The Setting Rays of the Sun

I can no longer trick myself into believing it is late fall; it definitely is starting to look like winter, the sun setting at around quarter-to-five. It makes the nights seem infinitely long, when I wake up to another gloomy, overcast afternoon, and see only a few hours of weak sunshine.The brilliant-sticky-cerulean-sky summer days, falling leaves, the neutral winter palette; the seasons change subtly here. One day you look outside and realize that the Earth has been rotating all this time and you never felt a shift beneath your feet. The shift is plainly visible in the vegetation and temperature.

I had such a wonderful time today with my dear friends’ Laura (same names!). We went to a new gluten-free (and a few vegan things) bakery called Origin’s. Most bakery’s that have token vegan options involve the “chocolate brownie/cake” in some form. I have developed a new appreciation for this delicacy, and had an amazing gluten-free vegan chocolate cupcake which was super yummy. We sat and giggled (we do a lot of that…) and swapped stories and news. There is nothing that wonderful friends can do for sick people…a miracle for sure. My ribs ache like I have been pummeled in the kidneys and sliced open between the ribs…I throb as though real blood were leaking from a wound. I can point to the spot with my finger. Agony. Its amazing what a little babesia will do for you…small, unobtrusive, then WHAM.

Had my needle expertly changed today. It pinches when I wiggle my shoulders…it feels like hands have been in my chest when I tighten the surrounding muscles, usually as a result of the pain elsewhere. Its a bad circle of events. I can’t quite shake the smell of chlorhexadine wipes from my blouse, nor the tang of nitrile gloves.

Picture this…

Speaking of gloves, I knit a pretty blue ambidextrous pair, and am currently working on a hat. I feel very professional with my four needles zipping around in a calm motion. I think my Gramma would be proud–> I learned from the best.

…All together now!

%d bloggers like this: