March 2009 archive

The Last Day of March

Today was okay I guess. We went to the library in “Woodbridge”, where ever that is, and checked out an insane amount of books, movies, and a probably 20+ CD’s of jazz mostly! I am currently adding them to my growing library as we speak! I lost quite a few songs when I transfered them to our external hard drive (I probably clicked no versus yes or something incredibly annoying and basic like that). Today was also blood draw day (oh my favorite!!), but honestly, I’m kinda used to the whole sticking-sharp-objects-into-my-arm-to-draw-out-my-life-sustaining-blood thing. I only have to have blood drawn every two weeks, so I am actually lucky. I still feel like I’m going to black out and such other wondrous things, and still envision myself attacking the needle-baring nurse (but of course its just an idle fantasy! I’ve never attacked anyone medical!). 

Why’d the tomato blush? ‘Cause he saw the salad dressing!!

I changed my own dressing yesterday on my PICC line and I am proud as punch about it! I was told by *cough* people that I could not change it one handed, which obviously made me all that much more determined to do so. Mom helped a little, I conceed, by holding things (mainly the line itself so it wouldn’t fall out or be pulled out- an important task, not gonna lie) and taping some things but apart from that it was all me. Took a while but it was ‘fun’, sorta. After people basically helping me with everything because of how much Lyme has taken from me, its nice to do something for myself, and something hard at that! Almost makes up for not walking, but that was a big almost. 

My Favorite Things

A few days ago, we went to Hyde Park, New York -home of the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) and FDR’s library and home, and near Vassar! – to go to a *gasp* doctor! Yah, that totally took you by surprise! Bet you didn’t see that one coming *rolls eyes*. We saw my other Lyme doctor, Dr. Horowitz’s PA, Lauren and then Dr. Horowitz came in with Dr. Hecht a visiting naturopath from Maine or New Hampshire.  The PA can do everything a doctor does-prescribe, examine, discuss, blahblah- but they are underneath the doctor, and the liability is all his. So pretty much a sweet deal! She was nice but we seemed to talk for such a long time and I was so sleepy! We waited an hour and forty-five minutes on top of that to actually see the PA! Crazy! They put me on ANOTHER drug which should help me, or make me sicker and then help me. I don’t really know. We drove there and back in one day…it’s only two hours each way but still! I’m real tired now. Gotta go. 

PICC lines, ER and Other Such Illustrious Abbreviations

Well it has been quite a sweet day today, all in all. HA! OMG so not! Today majorly sucked, and was not fun! Everything medically bad seems to be happening this week, and Mark and Mary (my other auntie and uncle!) are visiting, which sucks way more because I can’t really do much with them because I feel really bad. I’m so glad they are here though.

Last night, I discovered while putting in the saline solution into my PICC line, that I had a whole in the line, just below the cap (basically a small little ‘lid’ on the line to prevent my blood from spilling out all over the place! 😀 ) and when I pushed in the saline, it went out the whole and all over me. I quickly clipped the line (its kinda like a close line that makes sure the line is cut off…kinda hard to explain) so that my blood didn’t come pouring out *eeewww*.������������������ So basically I then freaked right out because of the thought of bleeding, and the people at the hospital said when we phoned them ,that I could come in tomorrow and they could ‘have a look at it’. Needless to say I was totally stoked at the prospect of someone playing around with my PICC line. 
The next day went to the radiology department at Middlesex Hospital (don’t ask me why radiology deals with PICC lines, I don’t really get it), and they took me into the ‘room’. The ‘rom’ looks like something out of a ‘Secret Torture Center’ handbook, except way cleaner than I imagine those places to be. It kinda looked scary, not gonna lie, but maybe it was just my imagination, fueled by my dislike of all things hospital, sterile and clusterphobic like the ‘room’ is. They put some ‘freezy’ in my arm, which is nice but scares me a little to know that the procedure will hurt and thats why they froze it. The doctor, kindly *rolls eyes* ripped of (and i mean RIPPED) the Tagaderm off my arm and roughly removed the pillow. I guess when you have a medical degree, you worry little about torturing you victims a little more than you plan to in the first place. They had to take out the broken line, and insert the new one, which is more uncomfortable than I care to describe. They messily put new dressing on and sent me on my way. Except then I started to have breathing problems, and at a hospital they FREAK OUT if you mention words like ‘I’m having trouble breathing’ and such. They let me calm down a bit before letting me go. 
I was like washing my hands or something like that, when I discovered that I had previously only scratched the surface of a world of pain. I have never known such pain, nor did I know it was possible. It takes everything pain: thought, emotion, control, common-sense – it turns a part of you wild.
They sent me ‘upstairs’ to ER, for the usual X-rays, EKG and such. The doctor was by far the nicest doctor I have ever had in ER, and actually seemed to have a heart, and was kind! So were the nurses!! I have never known that many wonderful medical people ever, and I’ve met quite a few. All of the staff I met at Middlesex hospital were wonderful, and totally exemplified what hospitals should be all about: helping people and caring about it too! I can offer no higher praise to them than that! The EKG technician, Johnny, was super super chill and nice. He was youngish, and I brought up the movie ’50 First Dates’ to try and describe the whole memory loss thing. He was all like ‘You’re 10 second Tom!’. It was really nice to talk to someone so compassionate and understanding. He came back later and gave me a baby tiger stuffy to give me a nice memory of the hospital trip. It was really cool. People can go through med school and have compassion see. 
All and all though I do feel a bitty shitty, my arm keeps throbbing loudly and asking ‘WTF did you do to me TRAITOR!?’. Sigh. I’m so tired. I’m always so tired. 

Strangers/Friends

People we met at Doctor Jones’ office, Steffan and Sharla, came for dinner tonight. It was really fun, cause they are real chill people and Steff is sick too, so he understands about the whole ‘Lyme thing’. I feel so shitty today because of the sleep study last night/morning, which obviously wasn’t like the best time I’ve ever had *rolls eyes*. Steff listens to righteous music, and we did our IV’s together, which is what cool people do for fun. Ha!! It’s hard to imagine getting to know someone when you can’t remember the past minute, let alone their name, but they were so nice and kept introducing themselves again and again, which made me feel like less of a fricken looser! 

I’ve been emailing both Steff and Sharla frequently, or so I hear, so I wasn’t a complete stranger to them, although they were to me! Life is so strange like that. I’m glad they came over…it’s so nice to be with people who understand, and are way chill! 
I’m so tired though it feels like my brain has been leeched through my eyes. Peace out!

A Good Night’s Sleep : An Epic Tale (2good2Btrue!)

WEll, last night/morning, those with a medical degree and very poor listening skills, decided that it would be a genius and helpful thing to get me to do a sleep study. I have numerous reasons why this plan is flawed (oh! I feel like a debater! Colleen’s rubbing off on me! Now I’m gonna present a logical argument that will KICK ass (and logic too probably).

1. The nature of an insomniac is to *gasp* not sleep, which generally means that attaching electrodes all over someone’s head, face, chest, stomach and ankles will not help.
2. Short term memory does actually mean I will periodically forget where I am and why there are electrodes taped all over me, and royally freak out.
3. Strangers coming in my room will also make me royally freak out.
4. I hallucinate. I foresee some problems…
4. I cannot sleep in a room if there are other people awake near me, or in the same room.
5. Spying on someone with sever paranoia and hallucinations is not the best move.
6. As was previously mentioned, I am an insomniac, and telling me to fall asleep within the next two hours, or the last six would have been for nothing, probably won’t help.
As you can imagine, it did not go well. Well no shit Sherlock! It was very uncomfortable and very stressful! I was in for a double sleep study, which would have meant I was supposed to be there for about 24 hours in total, all night and all morning till the afternoon! Fun!! Pulling an all-nighter wouldn’t have been out of the question for me, so we left at like 5 in the morning, and drove the 45 minutes home. So basically I’m pretty tired today. Haahaa!

It’s Claire!!

Yesterday was the best day of my life. Seriously! Claire – from GNS and Victoria who’s in grade 12 and I’ve known for ages (she’s like a music guru too) – was visiting universities on the East coast and dropped in for an evening! It was so totally awesome to see some one familiar and just hang out. Claire played me a few of her songs and we talked and at dinner (we had yummn, which was so normal that it makes me so sad and miss home more. She brought some choir music and stuff from home, which is totally awesome!! I super tired, but Claire, if you read this at some time, I love you, and know that you coming meant so much to me, and I totally can’t wait to get back!! 

Le Cow

It snowed two days ago, and it’s already melting. It makes it seem warmer and brighter outside, and very fresh. We had about 6 inches when it first fell, but now there is like (okay and this is a really rough guess, cause like I suck at guess-measuring!) 2 or 3 inches. It’s pretty, but makes it kinda hard to get around with the wheelchair, another unforeseen snow complication. My list of reasons not to like snow (you East Coasters know!) is growing! 

We found a baby Holstein cow and now it’s living it our living room and it’s so cute, with his little pink nose and baby horns. I haven’t named him yet, but all with good time. I’m dead serious, there’s a cow in our living room! I did lightly exaggerate when saying he was alive, but he’s life sized, and really, its just a small difference, a technicality! We found him with a bunch of stuff waiting to be thrown out in our apartment complex, and decided that he needed to be adopted ASAP. It kinda surprises me every time I look up because the last thing I expect to see is a cow across from me!
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